Retro & Vintage in Buffalo NY
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Monster Matt Monday : Rancid Rhymes

Posted Meagan Kyla Hendrickson Lifestyle

Monster Matt Patterson. Rancid Rhymes. Jokes. Horror Humor

Pin up for Death Shriek(Fall 2012)-Monster Matt Patterson

Monster Matt brings us some rib tickling rhymes!


Hello Mother, Hello Father.

Please send me cake.

The food is awful here, at Camp Crystal Lake.

There's one thing I have to ask - who is the lurking

creep wearing a hockey mask?!  


It's raining, It's pouring,

The old Vampire Bat is soaring,

Across the lake, to flee the stakes, 

That Van Helsing is carving and scoring.  


How many volts go through the neck bolts, of the

Monster called Frankenstein?

We have no account for the exact amount,

But, they make him feel very fine.  


A Zombie came into my den,

I asked it to walk, not traipse.

It might rub it's rotting flesh on the good set of



A ring of Ghouls around a cadaver.

Save all of the skin for after .

Nip at the toes,

Sauté the nose,

Don't drop the eyeballs,

They're squishy and they'll scatter!  


Mummy, Oh Mummy,

With your bandages taut,

When you're angry, is your gauze in a knot?


1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, 4.

Purging out an H . R. Giger worm in "Poltergeist 2"

is an intoxicating taste of horror.  


It came to my city, stirring up trouble. Chaos,

damage and such. It was The Blob!

It ate all it could,

Then left my hood.

Leaving us in Dutch!


Thank you again to Monster Matt for sharing his scare-spertise with the written word. Hehe!!

--Meagan Kyla

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